I’m not sure why, but I got the urge to list some of my dad’s favorite sayings that have gone with me throughout my life. Those who know him know that he is really intelligent and witty, and he has a way with words. I’m not sure which ones of these are original, and how many he took from someone else, but here they are:
“‘Elephants, two for a quarter!’ That’s a good deal, but only if you have a quarter and only if you need two elephants”–He’s not a big fan of people spending money they don’t have on things they don’t need just because it’s “a good deal.”
”We come into this life with a full bag of luck and an empty bag of experience. The idea is to fill up the bag of experience before the bag of luck runs out.”
“I don’t care who started it! It’ll be whichever one of you is more mature that puts an end to it!” I haven’t heard that since I was little, but I think it’s great advice for any age group. Somehow we don’t see our disagreements to be the same as what kids do. Hmm…
When my uncle grew a goatee, my dad said, “It looks like he got sloppy with a lollipop and then kissed a grizzly bear.”
When my dad started teaching us to drive he’d say, “You have to drive smart enough for you and for all the idiots out there.” (And if you ask him a question about which direction you’re supposed to drive, he always maks sure he says “correct” instead of “right” because he knows what kind of confusion that can cause)
“If it ain’t broke, fix it ’til it is.”
“If it weren’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.”
“A good day is a day when you don’t have to put on socks.” Meaning, you get to lounge around the house all day.
So that’s about it. It’s not a really long list, but it’s all I could think of. I guess my dad’s not so much the type to carry around a slew of one-liners, he’s more along the lines of working with what he’s given. For example, one time he went to go buy flowers for my mom, but there was no price tag on the one he had his eye on. So he was looking for someone to tell him the prices. From which he wittingly coined the phrase, “I couldn’t see the florist for the fees.” (Note the striking similarity to the phrase, “Couldn’t see the forest for the trees.”)
Again, when we had been measured for brand new suits for a funeral. When he took me to go pick them up, we were in a bit of a rush. So as we were about to pull into the parking lot at the Men’s Warehouse, my dad called them on his cell phone and requested that they have it all ready for him by the time he got there, so he could just drive in and pick them up, and be off. So he warned them that it was going to be a “Drive by suiting.” And to my chagrin I heard him repeat that one a number of times.
One last example: We had a parrot named Sam. We were looking to get a cat, because my mom simply loves cats. When it came to naming the little fur ball, there were a few options presented, but my dad decided that she had to be named Ella. Why? So we could have “Sam n’ Ella” (Salmonella).
HAha…ha *wipe tear from my eye* tee hee. That man is a riot!
Ok anyway, what have we learned here?… Seriously. It’s not an open ended question. I’m honestly asking you what we’ve learned here, because I sure don’t know. I’m just kidding.
This is simply a tribute to my father. It maybe could have waited until Father’s Day, but since that’s about half a year away, I don’t think I could wait that long. One thing I do want to stress is that it’s always good to have a sense of humor. Whether you have a roster of one-liners, puns, and zingers, or if you just have an innate ability to see humor in everything, be sure to use it (Even if it something cheesy like, “What’s a motto with you?”). Because there’s just too much stress and weary faces out there, and we could all use some laughter in our lives.
